10 Things you learn in grad school

Now that I have been in grad school for a solid 5.5 months- I feel I am an expert on the topic so here is my uncensored opinion on grad school.

1) If you turn it in, you get points (and probably a decent amount too). No matter how badly you procrastinated. No matter how terrible your metaphors are. No matter if your APA style is all over the place…Which brings me to my next point…

2) APA format will haunt you forever. Just when you thought you were going to escape it…NOPE. But honestly, who even really understands APA style anyways? Also, what does it contribute to the quality of collegiate writing, like real talk? Did you, my brilliant reader, forget (or even care) about the name of my paper if wasn’t at the top of every page in caps?

et al
But seriously, that’s some high quality nerd humor right there…

3) JSTOR is just as terrible as it was in undergrad. You found a source on JSTOR did you? DON’T EVEN TRY IT. It won’t be there, you don’t have access, your clearance is not high enough. Keep it moving. THIS IS TOP SECRET INFO HERE. #PsychInfoForever


4) Some professors are just collecting a pay check, they don’t actually care about what they are teaching. Some professors invest a whole bunch into what they are teaching AND collect a paycheck. Door number two is always better, thank your lucky stars when you get a professor like that.

5) At the worst possible time, technology WILL ALWAYS fail you. And you most likely haven’t hit save since you added in all those references and finished editing the last four paragraphs (this may or may not have happened to me…just yesterday). Online interview to do? Oh, no problem, internet will go out for sure.

6) No one still has any real clue how financial aid works except we all know we’re getting screwed in the end. Fake it till you make it?

Or the Dept. of Ed. Or Nelnet, or whoever else
Or the Dept. of Education via Nelnet, or ACS or whoever else

7) Textbooks are still useless. You buy them with the best of intentions. ‘I really will keep up with reading for this class. I mean, it’s not like undergrad- I’m an adult now, I am responsible. I need to invest in my education.’ …two weeks later… ‘That textbooks sucks. It literally has NO PICTURES. How am I supposed to learn without charts and graphs and corny stock photos?! The notes have all the info I need anyways. I’ll just write down what I need to read and go back over it later…’ ….never reads the text ever again….

8) Every class still has that one person. You know the one. The one you wonder how they got here, and where did they come from, and have they ever been in school ever?! AND OH MY GOD IF THEY ARE PASSING THEN MY 95% IN THIS CLASS MUST MEAN NOTHING. That’s probably like a ‘C’ in a real educational institution.

9) Group projects are a professor’s way of having less work to read/grade/sort through. Also, they suck just as bad as they did in undergrad. Also, all those people who tell you group projects are important because they teach you how to work in groups like you’ll need to do in the ‘real world’- STOP SAYING THOSE WORDS. I know how to work in groups. I play nice- I mean, I’m a quarter century old- I was socialized back in kindergarten. GOT IT. Now leave me alone in my office.

group 1

group 2
Can’t lie though- I lucked out with a solid group which makes every group project about 98% less of a headache. Go team, go!

10) The more things change, the more they stay the same. Basically, grad school is undergrad all over again. A higher education marketing scam to get you to pay more money for more ‘education’ to further your ‘career’ so you can ‘help more people and make more money’. After of course, you pay off that $4,385,098,304,984.89 worth of student loans…

Only 2 more years to go.. HA. Haha. Ha.


2 thoughts on “10 Things you learn in grad school

  1. Ugh, finishing up my undergrad, but I can so relate to this post.

    2. Points off my papers for random APA infractions in one research-heavy 400 level course shook my confidence; I am still not entirely sure how the professor wanted me to format my papers, but I survived.

    3. Been there, done that in regard to scouring academic journals to back up a point you have in your head but need to somehow source to include in your paper.

    4. I CLEPed out of a lot of my courses, but the professors I did have were generally great and super invested in their work. So that was a huge plus.

    7. I still cannot believe how much I have had to shell out to rent used textbooks that I didn’t get to keep. I feel like requiring the newest $150+ edition each year has to be some sort of scam.

    8. After looking at my classmates’ writing, I don’t know how some of them passed our courses with decent grades.

    9. I actually ended up having good group project experiences but they can certainly be stressful when you care about the results. (Which I did, but when you delegate you have to choose to care less.)

    Loved your post!

    1. Girl, I feel you on pretty much 100% of that! The renting of the textbooks, AHHH!!! Books are always, always a scam! Best of luck in your last little bit of school!

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